How do I begin... Lets start with my very first ex. The one who referred to me as having the build and face of someone straight out of an anime. The one that threatened to take her life with a kitchen knife when I tried to leave...
I've always been surrounded by drama. Be it the two losses of my father, the loved ones who come and go from my life, the chaos of my own existence.
There's the harem. Not really. But kind of sometimes.
I'm in love with one of my best friends. I know it, she knows it, but she's married. Even if to an ass.
I'm also in love with someone who's passed in and out of my life over the last two years, and whom I've managed to hurt each time.
There's the one I lost and lost again. I was merely a step towards who she wanted. But I still loved her. She was lost to the world last year.
There's the fox, who's heart is still freshly broken because of my selfishness.
The scorpion, the woman who's played with me like a toy but who's heart is still open to me.
And then there's the distant memory of the first one I hurt...
The life and times I lead are probably as crazy as the people I love. My room is a testament to nerd culture and is guarded by a dragon most dire. Inside this space is a long history recorded by the pieces I keep. The old jewelry box stuffed with seashells, old coins, and other trinkets. The various long dead or dying video game consoles. Models and figures cover a dresser used to store the things I never use... A leather jacket padded and armored that once belonged to my dad.
It's past three and I've been pretty hard on myself for the last few weeks. It's looking like once again I'm the monster. I've long stopped trying to slay the beast. It would never work. This is one beast I'll never fell.
Heh. There's always been these darker sides to me. I don't know if the smiling face the world sees is me, or just a mask I wear. There's also the scared child and the vicious beast. All three vie for my soul.
I long stopped believing in karma. My life is in turmoil and I still have time to give everything I have to others.
Maybe some day I'll write down my life story... It'd be an interesting read.